Hard Work, Worthless Thoughts

I am getting my butt handed to me at work. I can’t figure out a problem, and the deadline is approaching quickly. I am at my wit’s end because I am essentially the only developer on my team, and on top of that, I have limited help.

I am frustrated. And I find myself reverting to old habits. Certain negative thoughts cycle nonstop through my thoughts, the longer this problem persists:

• “Maybe I shouldn’t be a software engineer”

• “I am stupid”

• “Forget this job, I quit”

I know these thoughts are bad for my mental health and my self-esteem but I can’t seem to let go of them. I want to perform well and be able to solve any problems that come my way but I know that isn’t the case.

There will be problems beyond your abilities, but it still doesn’t make it any easier to process. And to deal with this, I must learn that my job does not equate to my identity.

I am more than a job or a job title.

I can’t figure out the problem.

Okay, so what?

That doesn’t make me worthless.

It doesn’t make me stupid.

And it doesn’t mean I don’t belong.

The problem will be solved if I keep chipping away at it. Those negative thoughts are doing nothing for me. When you find yourself in my position, step away, take a deep breath, and clear your mind.

Nothing that you do at work is supposed to make you feel like less. I am doing the best I can, and I have to remember that.

I want you to remember that as well.

Just do the best you can, shove those negative thoughts aside, and remember that you are enough!